Fake News Dude

Local Hoodlums Anxious To Bring Down Property Values In Proposed Magoffin Project Area

In Uncategorized on January 29, 2009 at 6:50 am

El Paso– Hoodlums, gang bangers, winos, sex offenders, prostitutes, Ramos and Compean, and a plethora of other criminals, lowlifes, and scumbags who control the Magoffin area in which the proposed Magoffin Project will be built were abuzz with excitement this morning after watching today’s city council meeting via the free wi-fi that local taxpayers provide for the downtown area and learning that Council had approved the building of the upscale Magoffin Apartments Project.

The derelicts explained to our reporters that they were a bit bored in the area since they had already brought down the property values as much as they could be brought down but that the prospect of yuppies paying upwards of $800 a month to live next to “us HUD people”  in the new apartments presented a great opportunity to bring down the property values once again.

Said one scumbag, “shit, I wouldn’t want to live near us, why some stupid yuppy would want to pay $800 to be my neighbor is beyond comprehension…especially when the same apartment can be had for at least 30% less in any other part of town; it really is incomprehensible”.

Various vagrants and lowlifes expressed excitement at the prospect of “really fucking this up” and could hardly wait to “start the raping, robbing, and pillaging”.


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