Fake News Dude

Eddie Holguin Changes Mind At Walmart Checkout Lane

In Uncategorized on January 25, 2009 at 12:58 am

El Paso– Two of our writers, who moonlight at Walmart due to the unlawfully low wages paid to them by EPFN, told us this morning that a mini-riot was narrowly averted last night at Walmart due to a shopping cart of groceries that City Rep. Eddie Holguin walked away from and left at the checkout counter.

According to our writers, Rep. Holguin approached the only counter open at Walmart, since the policy at said store is to open one counter per 500,000 people at the store at any given time, with a shopping cart full of groceries and other basic necessities. Mr. Holguin was overheard telling his wife, “these groceries and other non-food items that we selected were very wise choices; we will be better off for these wise decisions”; Mrs. Holguin concurred with his assessment.

As Rep. Holguin was about to reach the checkout counter, a man who was described as looking “like that cowardly congressman Reyes” passed by Rep. Holguin’s shopping cart and said to noone in particular, “those groceries are not a wise choice… maybe you should wait”.

Rep. Holguin is then reported to have simply abandoned his grocery cart and walked out of the store empty handed.

Upset customers who were behind Mr. Holguin immediately became angry due to feeling trapped as they were surrounded by an empty shopping cart in the front and dirty diapers and recently sucked-on and discarded chicken bones that are common place at Walmart.

Other members of City Council are rumored to have done the same in the previous couple of days.

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