From El Paso Fake News, January 7, 1860:
Mayor Cook Vetoes Resolution Asking For Debate on Slavery
Township of El Paso– The banjo playing mayor, Joseph Cook on Tuesday vetoed a unanimously supported resolution from City Council asking the federal government to seriously study the abolishment of slavery as a way to respond to the moral plague that is slavery.
“It is not realistic to believe that the U.S. Congress will seriously consider any broad-based debate on the abolishment of slavery,” Cook said. “That position is not consistent with the community standards both locally and nationally.”
Cook’s veto angered several on council, including some of his closest political allies.
Other Related Mayor News
Mayor Joseph Cook told us that he we recently visited a local psychic by the name of McFraud, and was told by said psychic that sometime in the distant future, one of his kin would become mayor of this dusty township.
The same psychic also told the mayor that the future mayor Cook would be defeated in a re- election bid due in large part to a “storm water” fiasco as well as numerous other “disasterous policies” the future mayor will champion.
Mayor Cook added that he believed McFraud’s predictions to be, “completely absurd…what kind of jerk would even think of taxing storm water?”.
