El Paso– In what has become a yearly tradition, local pyschic David McFraud held a press conference on Sunday morning during which he released his complete 2008 predictions as well as his 2009 pre-predictions.
McFraud, who is also a local radio celebrity, opened a sealed mayonaise jar and pulled out his 2008 predictions which he said he wrote on December 31, 2007. McFraud said that the sealed jar had remained unopened since last new year’s eve and in his care through out the year to ensure that nobody tampered with it.
The 2008 predictions, which were written on the back of an Obama/ Biden 08 campaign flyer included the following:
- The U.S. will enter a recession in 2008
- Barrack Obama will be elected president; Joe Biden will be Vice President. Hillary Clinton will be Secretary of State.
- The Dallas Cowboys will be eleiminated from the playoffs after losing to Philadelphia.
- Gov. Sarah Palin will be the Republican nominee for Vice President, John McCain will be the Presidential nominee.
- Gas prices will rise early in the year, will fall towards the end of the year.
- There will be a drug war in Juarez, 1,600 people will be killed.
- A mediocre website, El Paso Fake News, will come into existence; this site will be the on-line manifestation of human excrement.
A gullible El Pasoan who attended the press conference said, “It’s totally amazing…it’s almost like he sat down a couple of minutes before this press conference and googled “2008 in review”, and then wrote these predictions down! He is amazing! I can’t wait to fork over what precious little money I have so that he can give me a reading…my kids can eat next week”.
McFraud’s entire list of 2009 pre-predictions are listed below; McFraud encouraged his followers to attend next year’s press conference to hear the complete list of 2009 predictions.
2009 Pre-Predictions:
- Somebody who is associated with the letter “O” will have a hard time in 2009.
- Somebody who is associated with the letter “Q” will die in 2009.
